Respect, a basic need!

I picked up the book “The Prodigal Daughter” again for the 8^th time to read. I simply love that book. I came across a paragraph which I found moving. It is about how even children identify with humour and love being treated respectfully and like adults.

The father in the novel, Abel, employees Miss Tredgold as governess for his daughter. I am copying the entire text below to give you a reference.

Florentyna was nowhere to be seen. Two eyes peered suspiciously up from under the bed. Miss Tredgold spotted the girl first and fell on her knees.

“I am afraid I won’t be able to help you very much if you remain there, child. I’m far too big to live under the bed.”

Florentyna burst out laughing and crawled out.

“What a funny voice you have,” she said “where do you come from?”

“England,” said Miss Tredgold, taking a seat beside her on the bed.

“Where’s that? “

“About a week away.”

“Yes but how far?”

That would depend on how you travelled during the week. How many ways could I have travelled such a long distance? Can you think of three?

Florentyna concentrated. “From my house ...

Neither noticed that everyone had left the room.

I have tried the same with both my children and it has had an instant effect. From tantrum throwing monsters they transform into human children. They go beyond the call of duty to help me and make themselves useful. The reason is simple; I made them laugh and spoke to them like equals. I gave RESPECT and got much more in return.

In my “corporate” working life, I have seen and experienced multiple examples where respect is missing in the transactions. A subordinate may know less than the boss about work but there would be 100 other experiences in life that may make him more experienced.

The need for respect is so basic that you can almost count it amongst the basic needs of a human being, along with food, cloth and shelter. Someone once said, “Treat others the way you would like to be treated”. This statement holds good at work and home, with children and adults. Try it!

This piece is contributed by Deepa Satish. The first point of contact when you call Navgati, an energetic, personalised, clear voice - that’s Deepa, the livewire of the Navgati team. She loves to be out there and make things happen! Talk to her to know about Navgati and you’ll feel the energy rubbing off.

She is an engineer from Ramaiah College, Bangalore and an MBA from Army Institute of Management, Calcutta. She has been in sales and business development with Naukri.com, UXL technologies and Media2Win before joining Navgati. Organised, dependable, a bit of a carpenter, a bit of a photographer, ever enthusiastic, and mad about dogs – that pretty much sums up one of Navgati’s most talented ladies.

The power of facilitation

I had a rather unusual experience today. At an intermediate salsa class, I was partnered with a young man, who was clearly putting a lot of energy into his dance but not that much skill. By the time he twirled me in the wrong direction for the fourth time (almost dislocating my shoulder in the process), each time looking slightly accusingly at me, I was getting quite frustrated.

We stopped to catch our breath and looking down at the floor he said, “I wish I could dance more smoothly” in a crestfallen voice.

Now, given the mood I was in, my normal approach would have been to say something consoling in a fake supportive tone or to give him a somewhat patronizing advice (eg listen to the music; be more firm with your lead etc). Instead I found myself asking him “what do you think you would need to dance more smoothly?”. And I saw him stop and think and slowly he said “perhaps we could try it with slower music…and maybe we could do this one step multiple times till I get it right”. And he did! And I found myself marveling at the power of a facilitative approach all over again.

Over the past few years, I’ve learnt through painful experience, the importance of using a facilitative style whenever facilitating a workshop.  Trusting that participants have the answers they need and the ability to apply the concepts they learn to their live; and that what they need is a supportive environment to think through those solutions, without judgement.  One of the most important benefits of inviting people to think for themselves is not having to listen to the old favourite “well that is ok in a workshop but in the real world…..”.

So facilitation in workshops is great. What I am beginning to slowly learn is the power of using a facilitative approach in life, in general. In addition to all the benefits I’ve experienced of using it in a workshop, I’ve found that using a facilitative style in the real world brings in a certain degree of detachment towards the issue. In asking questions (provided of course that the tone is neutral), you automatically take on the role of an observer and shift the onus of finding a solution into a common space. Like in the case of my dance partner - where I experienced my irritation melt away at his earnest answer.

So the next time my less than perfect neighbor parks his car in front of my gate, I’m going to calmly explain the impact it has on me and ask him “so what do you think we could do to solve this problem?”. Facilitation zindabad!  


Contributed by Sunitha Krishnamurthi. Sunitha is the chief of the mad hatters of Navgati – she wears the maximum number of hats that you can imagine. She is the CEO, brand manager, strategist, content designer, coach and trainer – and is the master of all!  Ever ready to support and always spirited – she is the glue that holds Navgati together.  You have to interact with Sunitha for less than a minute to be touched by her warmth and genuineness. It is this powerful combination of intelligence and warmth that makes all her endeavours superbly successful. 

Sunitha is a PGDM from IIM Bangalore (1995) and has a Bachelors degree in Science from St. Josephs College, Bangalore. She has over 16 years of experience, mainly in the brand and marketing space. 

Farewell & remember...

 

Recently a school next door hosted a farewell party for the Std X class. It had the usual trappings of any such event – sentimental songs from Hindi movies, an adapted version of Auld Lang Syne, and of course faculty speeches to the outgoing batch. The sounds drifting from the microphones got me thinking about my own farewell party two decades ago! Sadly, there isn’t much I can recall except the simple yet deeply touching ritual of passing a lit candle to our juniors.

Though I loved school and had my share of achievements, what I learnt and achieved post-school seems more gratifying. I do wish sometimes though, that my school had equipped me a little better to deal with the world and my life.

So here’s my wish list of some of the things they could have told me on the night of our farewell party: 

v  Life is difficult and you are on your own!

v  The most precious gift from your school years are your friends. Never again will you get such a long time in one place to nurture friendships. So always stay in touch with your school friends.

v  We taught you language in school not so you can score marks in exams but more so that you have the ability to speak up when required. 

v  You probably didn’t make it to any sports team because the Physical Education teacher didn't know how to handle a large group. Find opportunities to play and enjoy a sport - you will learn a lot more than the game itself.

v  The labels you've earned in school are not part of your identity for life. You shed them when you step out of school. And life will present you plenty of opportunities to create new labels for yourself. 

v  It is not important what your teachers thought of you. What you believe about yourself will shape your destiny.

v  Failure is great because it will set you free to follow your dreams and give you the push to stretch yourself

v  We punished you in school not because what you did was wrong but because we as adults could not handle what was happening and needed to regain our sense of control! 

v  Knowledge that you gain from books will be insignificant compared to the knowledge you gain from your experiences. It maybe painful sometimes but it will be knowledge well earned. 

v  The world is filled with limitless opportunities and there is a space under the sun for everyone to achieve something. 

v  Competition is real but it will take you only to a particular level. After that, what propels you forward is your own willingness to do better than what you did yesterday.

v  Don't channel your efforts to build skills for a specific profession - instead channel your efforts in exploring your skills and then see which profession fits in for you.

v  And finally, working with children can be very satisfying!

Maybe my teachers did have such similar thoughts and maybe some might have even tried sharing them with me in their own way. But, maybe back then, it was me who was not ready to receive the messages and had to discover some over the years in my own ways. In any case, it might be interesting to go back and listen to what they are telling the girls now. And maybe request my school principal to allow me to share my two-bits with the outgoing batch as my token of my gratitude for the things I did learn in school!

Contributed by Vijji Chari. Vijji is a Navgati trainer with over 12 years experience in the Leadership Development with organizations like Infosys and T V Rao Learning Systems. Her work in leadership development has been through training, assessment centres, 360 degree feedback and coaching. At Navgati she facilitates programs on Assertiveness, People Leadership, Interviewing and Transitioning from campus.

Breaking the Fourth Wall

In theatre parlance the ‘fourth wall’ is the imaginary wall on the fourth side of a proscenium theatre - (the typical stage that we are familiar with) between the stage and the audience. The concept of the fourth was highlighted in the era of modern realistic theatre to separate fiction on stage from the reality (the audience watching the performance). The implication of this convention is that when actors are playing out a fictitious scene on stage, they perform and live the scenes as if there is an invisible wall between them and the audience. Hence there is no breaking out of the scene and interacting with an audience.

Later theatre conventions challenged this and ‘broke the fourth wall’and now all forms of interactive theatre break this fourth wall. As an actor under training at the National School of Drama, I also practised breaking the fourth wall in performances to highlight for the audience certain issues or emotions.

To me a boardroom presentation is not very different from a theatrical performance- both are live spontaneous mediums meant to influence the audience. Breaking the fourth wall is a very useful convention for presenters to know for making impactful presentations.

Frequently low impact presentations I have observed are the ones where the presenter creates a strong fourth wall between themselves and the audience. This happens commonly by talking non-stop through the presentation, looking through the audience as they are being lectured, having  a set presentation script in the head or being unwilling to change the flow based on audiences reaction. What is the impact?  There is a high probability of the audience switching off or worse still, falling asleep!

So how can a presenter break the fourth wall consciously to deliver an impactful presentation? Here are a few simple tips:

1.    Begin with your body language – simple eye contact with every member of the room can make a huge difference. And hold eye contact. This means engaging with one person as you complete one sentence at least, instead of the fleeting glance.

2.    Use the space – Don’t hide behind the laptop or the podium. Step forward and as close as possible to your audience.

3.    The slides on your laptop are not your shield- Get rid of excess text on your slides. And don’t keep looking at the slides – remember it takes away from the eye contact!

4.    Involve the audience – Save your questions for the end of your presentation and you instantly remind the audience about their chemistry teacher from school! Instead ask for questions or comments during the presentation. Get the audience to connect to the content with their own experiences.

5.    Respond to the here and now-You see a frown on one of the participants  face- connect with them and ask them what they have on their mind.

6.    Don’t be afraid to take the risk to change the flow of some parts of your presentation to make it relevant for the audience.

So presenters go ahead and break through that fourth wall in your presentation and enthral your audiences

with a class performance. Break a leg!

Contributed by Madhu Shukla. Madhu is a Navgati trainer. She holds a Post Graduate Diploma in Dramatic Arts from the National School of Drama, New Delhi. Madhu has always been passionate about theatre and its potential to bring about personal transformation. She brings  unique understanding of theatre to enhance the effectiveness of Navgati programmes  She also acts as a central resource to enhance the use of theatre-based techniques across all our programs.

Can E-learning Substitute Classroom Training?

Maybe in some areas – certainly in functional and technical skills. However in the kind of training we do, where we ask people to challenge the beliefs they hold about themselves and others, face-to-face interaction is imperative.

In training involving life skills, the most important element that contributes to the learning process is the relationship between the instructor and the learners. The instructor must create an environment where learners feel safe, and build in their specific needs into activities and discussions.

Learning is an active process. Talking about something with a facilitator or with co learners brings about clarity that leads to change, that thinking alone or reading cannot. An instructor’s skill in designing learning activities can help participants reflect on core issues and learn experientially. Powerful questions from the instructor can trigger new thoughts. A sensitive instructor will read body language of participants, help participants surface concerns and respond to their specific needs. A group makes it fun too. It often creates memories that stay with people.

Aruna Gopakumar

Can Training Really Change People?

Can training really change people? (especially those who don’t feel the need to change)

One question that I am asked often, can training really change people? I would like to change the question to, "Who can training change?"

Certainly not those who don’t want to change. In fact, nothing can change those who don’t want to. I can promise that training will not do a thing to people who start the day with

·         What is this programme all about?
·         Can you finish at 2:00?
·         My manager nominated me this morning
·         I wanted to see how this training can change me.

But for those who want to learn and change, training can do a lot.

The mere act of taking time out and focusing on a skill with an uncluttered mind creates change. The structured curriculum, a supportive instructor, theories, practical exercises and feedback can help people accelerate their learning. Training provides a safe environment for people to make mistakes. There is no pressure to perform.

However, I have seen organisations push unwilling people into training – often without giving them notice.  Many times, training becomes a substitute for feedback. People are told to attend a session without any dialogue with them on how it can help them or the change that the organisation would like to see after the session. Nor is there a debrief after the session or encouragement to demonstrate the changed behaviour. As a result, people attend the programme half-heartedly or resentfully.

Pushing people into training is no incentive for people to change. It is demotivating for all involved – most of all the trainer – and hugely wasteful.

Learning is owned by the learner.  It is important  for trainers and training managers to refuse programmes if they sense that enough effort has not been put in by managers to create a readiness to learn. Such training will certainly bring about no change and diminish the credibility of the trainer and the training function.

Aruna Gopakumar